UPDATE: End of Days Sooner than We Originally Thought...

Oh those silly New Agers with their ridiculous theories and Mayan Calendars, don't they know the rapture is coming in like 4 months, 18 days (I'm not counting)?  That's right people, according to WeCanKnow! JC is coming back May 21, 2011 to judge us all and then will destroy the world on October 21, 2011.

This prediction was close.

Is it really going to take him 5 months to decide who comes with him and who goes out with a bang?  I could expedite the process for him, and start a list - sort of like Santa does... Honestly I wish I would have known about this sooner, because I would have went really big for Halloween last year. Last Halloween was like my off-year, I didn't have a good costume, I had a cold, I just was not feeling it.  If only I would have known, last Halloween on earth!  I would have rallied and splurged on that Lady Gaga wig.

I like her pants. 

I guess I can toss out those New Year's Resolutions.  Hey Mom, I don't need a job now, not if I'm going to be busy preparing for the rapture, which includes figuring out what I need to do to prepare for the rapture.  For now I'm going to order some free bumper stickers, which one should I get:

I feel like this one is really male-centric, and I find it a bit off-putting. Like are they trying to say only men are going to be judged?  And also does judgement day start at midnight on the 20th?  Or noon on the 21st?  I'm guessing midnight, which means I'm either drinking a bunch of coffee past my bedtime on the 20th, or I'm liable to sleep right through.  And I don't want to miss this.

I think I'm partial to the Noah Knew sticker.  I really enjoy the water motif.

Oh crap!  I don't have a car, so it's sort of silly for me to get a bumper sticker...

Thank God, there is a Save the Date Calendar, I can use on my desk.   Obviously it ends on May 21st, but actually shouldn't it end on October 21 the last day?  I don't want to be judge-y, but they should get really try to get the dates right.  I have a lot of planning to do.   And at least one book to read.

Instant Best Seller!